The only weapon we have is comedy.

Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.

I'm an Episcopal, which is Catholic Lite. It's like same religion, half the guilt.

My battles with addiction definitely shaped how I am now. They really made me deeply appreciate human contact. And the value of friends and family, how precious that is.

Here's the best birth control in the whole world, if you really, if you have no pills, if you have no diaphragm, if you have no other form of contraception. Use it for ladies, if he comes at you with that little thing in his hand, just laugh at it. They can't deal with it, OK, it'll be gone.

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist.

In California, we are a sixty percent Hispanic state, we elected an Austrian governor. Even old Nazis are going "That's weird."