As intellectual as we think we are, you still trip, we still have human foibles, sexuality, all the different things to still make you aware of your humanity.

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.

If women ran the world there would be no wars. However every 28 days there would be some very intense negotiations.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'

For a while you get mad, then you get over it.

I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."

I used food to make myself feel better, but I felt worse when I ate.