Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?

For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see.

If heaven exists, to know that there's laughs, that would be a great thing.

If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.

Oh, no. To live... to live would be an awfully big adventure.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

The things we fear the most have already happened to us.