What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back

Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers.

Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.

A woman wouldn't make a bomb that kills you. A woman would make a bomb that makes you feel bad for a while. That's why there should be a woman President. There'd never be any wars, just every twenty-eight days there'd be very intense negotiations.

You’ve got to be crazy! It’s too late to be sane, too late. You’ve got to go full tilt bozo... ‘Cause you’re only given a little spark of madness... and if you lose that, you’re nothing

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.