My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.

Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?

Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?

Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!

I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.

Nature Boy, whats that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?

You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!