If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn.

I'd like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don't know the answer. Uh, I lost my sunglasses and yesterday I went to the Sunglass Hut. Here's the question: Why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 25-inch color television set? I go to the Sunglass Hut. I see a pair that I like. I don't love them. I don't. I like 'em. $309.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it's not.

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.