I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.

I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.

Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.

I only like the live audience. I don't even like to do standup where it's being filmed. Because it affects the way the audience responds to what you say, because it makes them uncomfortable. You have to perform in a light room, and I prefer a dark room. But I love to perform, and I don't really see myself doing any television at all.

They call me Tater Salad

If you kill someone in Texas, we'll kill ya back.

There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.