I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.

From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.

I only like the live audience. I don't even like to do standup where it's being filmed. Because it affects the way the audience responds to what you say, because it makes them uncomfortable. You have to perform in a light room, and I prefer a dark room. But I love to perform, and I don't really see myself doing any television at all.

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.