Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.

I did have a deal for a little while a cigar company that never really materialized that much, except that I ended up with 100 boxes of my own cigars with my signature on them. Which is great, they are wonderful cigars but they never really fulfilled out so now I'm out of it. I can sign up with somebody else or go pick a blend or whatever. I probably will, there is no sense in not doing it.

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.

My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.