Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.

My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.

I don't do any corporate work.

I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can't say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.

The biggest piece of advice that I give young comedians is: If it's your goal to get where I'm at, go do something else. Because you'll never get here. Never. The odds are so bad. Because not only do you have to be a really, really strong comedian but you also have to be lucky. And most people don't get that combination.

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.