The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.

My goal is just to become a better comedian.

I don't do any corporate work.

There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it's not.

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.