I know that I pay 48 percent of my income to taxes. You know, I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't going just to export war. If it was actually going to help the people of the United States, I would gladly pay more.

I actually regard Facebook as a huge bore, but I cannot refrain from participating in it. I guess I crave the feeling of hope it gives me to think that today will be different from yesterday, that I will find an interesting comment or poke or video, and on the extremely rare occasion when that happens, I am just thrilled.

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.

Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.

There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.