two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.

A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.

I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.