I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s got that Ronald Reagan charm. I think he`s hot. I respect his wife, but if he wasn`t married I`d be putting on my cowboy boots and coming around.

Hollywood is the only place on earth that has more vampires, more undead, more resurrections than a month of Easter Sundays.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

Anyone with a show on T.V. will tell you it's backbreaking work. And if you have a big personality, which I have, and you're a perfectionist, there's going to be head-butting.

Laugh every day as much as you can.

Without democracy in our homes, we will never have it in the world.

I say I'm the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I'd like to take this opportunity to ask both Romney and Obama to debate me. Because I think that both of those guys - I think that the American people are being given a false choice, because the choice between the lesser of two evils is a false choice.