You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

Somewhere within the concept of justice, the worst of the guilty must always be removed. I cannot divorce this, not completely. The people must have justice and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine!

I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust.

Impeach the President and the Vice President, they are traitors to America, and so are all of their supporters. Impeach! Anyone in congress who refuses to save our union from these traitors by doing nothing needs to be recalled.

I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s got that Ronald Reagan charm. I think he`s hot. I respect his wife, but if he wasn`t married I`d be putting on my cowboy boots and coming around.

My real life is funnier than anything on TV.