I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.

Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.

The fact that my grown kids like to hang out with me, I mean, it just - I don't think it really can get any better than that, I don't think.

Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere with the labor unions and grab the money will be marched to the guillotines and subsequently beheaded. And isn't that easier and more productive than some endless, bloody conflict? So sayeth the gospel of common sense. Happy Mother's Day.