My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something I'm not particularly proud of, but it was that or firearms.

You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'

Being nuts is its own reward.

Don't call people names you dirty name caller you.

A lot of men are impotent and it's very sad. How many of you are impotent? I see. Can't get your arms up either?

A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.

I think I'm hysterical. I watch myself on tape and just roar - isn't that weird?