A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.

Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?

I say I'm the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I'd like to take this opportunity to ask both Romney and Obama to debate me. Because I think that both of those guys - I think that the American people are being given a false choice, because the choice between the lesser of two evils is a false choice.

I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver.

I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

The American people are sick and tired of this ‘lesser evil’ garbage they get fed every election year. Both the Democrats and the Republicans do the same evils once they’re in office...