I survived my childhood by birthing many separate identities to stand in for one another in times of great stress and fear.

Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us?

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews.

I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.

The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.