I’m not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S.

Hollywood is the only place on earth that has more vampires, more undead, more resurrections than a month of Easter Sundays.

I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election.

The fact that my grown kids like to hang out with me, I mean, it just - I don't think it really can get any better than that, I don't think.

We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

Don't call people names you dirty name caller you.