I want to say that nobody accuses their parents of abusing them without justification to do that. I didn't just make it up. A lot of things were true and abusive and horrible things that happened to me that my father did.

'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.

A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.

My real life is funnier than anything on TV.

I think I'm hysterical. I watch myself on tape and just roar - isn't that weird?

two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.

I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.