I used to think that communing with nature was a healing, positive thing. Now, I think I'd like to commune with other things - like room service and temperature control.

In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.

I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.

I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.