Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor.

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.

TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel.

Whatever helps you sleep is my opinion on the subject, and that's what I like about the western world's most popular religion, it has helped put so many people to sleep, although most of them permanently and without their approval.

You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.

Excuse the mess but we live here.