Suddenly, people had three phone numbers but never answered their phones.

Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us?

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'

A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.

There isn't any New Man. The New Man is the old man, only he whines more.