Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.

I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.

I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.

I try to tell people to keep having hope. It's always what you don't know and don't expect that's gonna be so great.

Whatever helps you sleep is my opinion on the subject, and that's what I like about the western world's most popular religion, it has helped put so many people to sleep, although most of them permanently and without their approval.

A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?