The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

I like it when very little children think for themselves, because they do not have access to car keys or credit cards or crack pipes, but they have some really funny lines.