The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.

When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.

The fact that my grown kids like to hang out with me, I mean, it just - I don't think it really can get any better than that, I don't think.

If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun.

A lot of men are impotent and it's very sad. How many of you are impotent? I see. Can't get your arms up either?

A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.

Being nuts is its own reward.