My children love me. I'm like the mother they never had.

Part of my platform is, of course, the guilty must be punished and that we no longer let our children see their guilty leaders getting away with murder. Because it teaches children, you know, that they don’t have to have any morals as long as they have guns and are bullies and I don’t think that's a good message. . . . I do say that I am in favor of the return of the guillotine and that is for the worst of the worst of the guilty.

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.

Diets are a temporary solution to a permanent problem.

Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.