Long-haired Chihuahuas have no notion they are bite-sized.

Don’t ever trust anyone who’s writing a book. They make up lies for a living.

When your family is twice as weird as normal, you have to be twice as polite to authority, because authority hates weird.

Taylor: what do you hear? Daisy: Nothing but rain

"Oh My God," I blurted, grabbing onto Phin as we faced the open bedroom door. "It's the axe murderer." "I doubt he would knock," she said, but she was whispering, too, and didn't move away from me.

I was the designated grown up in a family that operated in different reality than the rest of the world.

My major vice is sarcasm with a side of caffeine addiction.