There is still quite the vibe out there that as a parent you have to be completely in control and in charge.

If a solution isn't mutually satisfactory, it's not going to stick.

It's a whole lot more productive to be in problem-solving mode than it is to be in behavior modification mode.

Challenging behavior is just a signal, the fever, the means by which the kid is communicating that he or she is having difficulty meeting an expectation.

Everybody is talking about the behavior. Behaviors float downstream to us. We need to paddle upstream. The problems that are causing the behaviors, that's what's waiting for us. It's a crucial paradigm shift.

When people are rushed, they're stressed and you greatly increase the likelihood of being punitive and unilateral just because you're trying to grasp control.

There is still quite the vibe out there that as a parent you have to be completely in control and in charge.