There is still quite the vibe out there that as a parent you have to be completely in control and in charge.

People still look askance at a kid in the supermarket who's pitching a fit and think the parent is not sufficiently in control or not being sufficiently punitive. That's an issue for a lot of parents as well.

It's so crucial to really get a good handle on what's getting in the way of the kid completing a homework assignment. It can be so many things.

No kid should be getting three or four hours of homework a night. There's no breathing time, there's no family time, there are just extracurriculars and homework and then go to bed.

My advice to educators is collaborate with parents; they know a lot about their kids.

Be your kid's collaborative partner, but also be a collaborative partner with the folks at school. Schools can be pretty unilateral too. Show them you know how to collaborate. Show them this is not about power. Let them know detentions and suspensions and paddling don't solve the problems that are affecting kids' lives. Those problems can be identified and solved but not by being punitive.

We have forgotten that those skills on the more positive side of human nature have to be taught, have to be modeled, have to be practiced.