School is very demanding these days.

School is very demanding these days.

We have forgotten that those skills on the more positive side of human nature have to be taught, have to be modeled, have to be practiced.

If we're being unilateral, then communication does not happen, the relationship does not happen.

Be your kid's collaborative partner, but also be a collaborative partner with the folks at school. Schools can be pretty unilateral too. Show them you know how to collaborate. Show them this is not about power. Let them know detentions and suspensions and paddling don't solve the problems that are affecting kids' lives. Those problems can be identified and solved but not by being punitive.

The vast majority of things parents and kids get in conflict over are highly predictable. We're disagreeing about the same expectations the kid is having difficulty meeting every hour, every day, every week. Because it's predictable, we can have these conversations proactively. That is very hard for people.

Being completely in control is a fantasy.