We never get to see that our kid is capable of solving problems on her own. We never start to build up the faith that they can actually do it.

A lot of parents aren't exactly sure how to go about solving a problem with a kid in a way that's mutually satisfactory - doing that with their child feels very foreign to a lot of people. It probably explains why so many parents tell me their kids don't listen to them and why so many kids tell me that they don't feel heard.

If a solution isn't mutually satisfactory, it's not going to stick.

No kid should be getting three or four hours of homework a night. There's no breathing time, there's no family time, there are just extracurriculars and homework and then go to bed.

There is still quite the vibe out there that as a parent you have to be completely in control and in charge.

Most parents are accustomed to dealing with problems in the heat of the moment.

You want to teach all kids the skills that are on the better side of human nature: empathy, appreciating how one's behavior is affecting other people, resolving disagreements in ways that do not involve conflict, taking another's perspective, honesty.