It's so crucial to really get a good handle on what's getting in the way of the kid completing a homework assignment. It can be so many things.

Parents are much more likely to be attuned to what they don't like than they are to the expectations that the kid is having difficulty meeting.

Being completely in control is a fantasy.

No kid should be getting three or four hours of homework a night. There's no breathing time, there's no family time, there are just extracurriculars and homework and then go to bed.

You're your kid's partner, not the person who's pulling all the strings.

The vast majority of things parents and kids get in conflict over are highly predictable. We're disagreeing about the same expectations the kid is having difficulty meeting every hour, every day, every week. Because it's predictable, we can have these conversations proactively. That is very hard for people.

There is still quite the vibe out there that as a parent you have to be completely in control and in charge.