It's a whole lot more productive to be in problem-solving mode than it is to be in behavior modification mode.

It's a whole lot more productive to be in problem-solving mode than it is to be in behavior modification mode.

If we're being unilateral, then communication does not happen, the relationship does not happen.

If we're sitting at dinner and there's no conversation going on because everybody's got their head someplace else in their iPhone, that's a family problem that needs to be solved.

The vast majority of things parents and kids get in conflict over are highly predictable. We're disagreeing about the same expectations the kid is having difficulty meeting every hour, every day, every week. Because it's predictable, we can have these conversations proactively. That is very hard for people.

When people are rushed, they're stressed and you greatly increase the likelihood of being punitive and unilateral just because you're trying to grasp control.

We never get to see that our kid is capable of solving problems on her own. We never start to build up the faith that they can actually do it.