College athletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.

I never weigh myself, but the brutal truth of television is that they don't employ old people or fat people.

Depressions are very cyclical, they happen once every five years. When I was on TV, yes I was effervescent, you can't fake it. It [depression] comes like the pox.

Mum used to hide love letters from my boyfriends and put me down. Now I understand that she was a Polish immigrant forced to settle in Chicago. She was jealous of the freedom life gave me.

[With depression] you get a real sense of shame, because your friends go, 'Oh come on, show me the lump, show me the x-rays,' and of course you've got nothing to show.

I can't do anything too serious like Saddam Hussein, but I would like to do Bill Clinton. That'd be fun.

People who say ... they're perfectly fine [are] more insane than the rest of us.