I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade

'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!'

Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you."

Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!

Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm.

She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!".

With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.'