Have you ever thought about letting Cheesus into your Life?

When you're three, you're into custard, and jumping.

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'

This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life!

She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!".

Some people in England only have their wheelie bins collected once a fortnight. Their suffering is unimaginable.

The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.