What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.

Two thongs don't make a right.

I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.

I love B.C., but you know what taxes are like in Canada.

Quiet! I'm expressing myself!

I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.

I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.