The good news is your surgery was a success and now you look like a movie star! The bad news is that movie star is Drew Carey!
If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.
Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.
I love B.C., but you know what taxes are like in Canada.
Quiet! I'm expressing myself!
I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.