I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.

The good news is your surgery was a success and now you look like a movie star! The bad news is that movie star is Drew Carey!

I look like Walt Disney just threw up.

I wasnt particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.

If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

The sky, the sky beyond the door is bluuuuuuue!