Quiet! I'm expressing myself!

The good news is your surgery was a success and now you look like a movie star! The bad news is that movie star is Drew Carey!

If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.

I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.

Two thongs don't make a right.

You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

I cant sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. Im shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.