I look like Walt Disney just threw up.

When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.

I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.

We're expecting a lot of rain in the state of Oregon, so let's just get rid of Oregon.

I cant sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. Im shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

I am breathing. That's how I'm staying alive!