I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.

Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.

Two thongs don't make a right.

The good news is your surgery was a success and now you look like a movie star! The bad news is that movie star is Drew Carey!

I wasnt particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

The sky, the sky beyond the door is bluuuuuuue!

I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.