Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity. You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it.

I loathe writing. On the other hand I'm a great believer in money.

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere.

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

As for consulting a dentist regularly, my punctuality practically amounted to a fetish. Every twelve years I would drop whatever I was doing and allow wild Caucasian ponies to drag me to a reputable orthodontist.

Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity. You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it.

We old roosters must be cautious. Don't try to outwit your arteries.