Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity. You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it.

Where would the Rockefellers be today if old John D. had gone on selling short-weight kerosene ... to widows and orphans instead of wisely deciding to mulct the whole country.

As for consulting a dentist regularly, my punctuality practically amounted to a fetish. Every twelve years I would drop whatever I was doing and allow wild Caucasian ponies to drag me to a reputable orthodontist.

The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it out like a dishtowel. You are what you are.

I don't know where we're going or how we'll get there, but when we get there we'll be there - and that's something, even if it's nothing.

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck.

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere.