You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Faults of ignorance are excusable only where the ignorance itself is so

If a playwright is funny, the English look for a serious message, and if he's serious, they look for a joke.

The secret of a good marriage is forgiving your partner for marrying you in the first place.

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands.

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.