The secret of a good marriage is forgiving your partner for marrying you in the first place.

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.

The best way to turn a woman's head is to tell her she has a beautiful profile.

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands.

If a playwright is funny, the English look for a serious message, and if he's serious, they look for a joke.

Faults of ignorance are excusable only where the ignorance itself is so

Find someone to love . . . and, oh, someone to love you.