When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.

It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.

A neighbor will stand at your door talking for 20 minutes because she doesn't have time to come in.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

Wouldn't you like to weigh what it says on your driver's license?