In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.

Two things help to keep one's job. First, let the boss think he's having his own way. Second, let him have it.

The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.

I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.

When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.