The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.

Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.

Nobody's too fat - they're just too short.

A neighbor will stand at your door talking for 20 minutes because she doesn't have time to come in.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.