Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.

Two things help to keep one's job. First, let the boss think he's having his own way. Second, let him have it.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.

On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?