A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.

Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.

Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.