Highways are full of careless drivers who are always too close in front of you.
I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.
The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.
Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?